Are living & dying actually one?
Thoughts on dying, death, life, freedom and connectedness
November is a difficult month for many people. Not only is it usually gray, dark and cold and wet, but there are also a whole series of days that revolve around death and mourning: All Saints’ Day, All Souls’ Day, Remembrance Day, Day of Prayer and Repentance, and Sunday of the Dead. And dying and death are still an unpopular topic in our society.
This has been the case for a long time. When I did research for my master’s thesis in anthropology (unbelievable) 22 years ago, I already came to the conclusion that dying and death have been taboo subjects for decades, at least in Western societies. At that time, I did a field research project at one of the first hospice associations that were now slowly emerging in Germany. Only later did I really realize that I was dealing with the early accidental death of my father, to whom I had dedicated this work.
In general, death plays an essential role in my life. Essential for my inner, spiritual development and above all essential for my way of living. The more I dealt with death on my way of life – forced or voluntarily – the more I lost the fear of it. Today I would even say: Death is a friend of man! He really means well with us by showing us the finiteness of our existence. He also shows us the urgency to do what we really want to experience in this life NOW and not only when we think we might have time, in retirement or so.
When we are without fear – especially without fear of physical death – life takes on a completely different quality. And suddenly you dare to think and do things that were impossible before …
Freedom through connectedness
I like death – and I know that this statement will at least cause irritation among some readers. I don’t mean that I have a death wish or suicidal thoughts or anything like that. I like him because he’s a really good teacher. He taught me that I don’t have to be afraid of anything or anyone – not even death. Because during my near-death experience after a serious motorcycle accident in 2000, I was allowed to sniff into this state, that is, to experience what happens after dying, after physical existence – and that was great!!!! With a big grin, I like to say, “Well, I highly recommend death!” …
Since this intense encounter with death – I experienced it virtually on my own body – I live completely differently. At that time I changed my entire life, found my true path in life and since then I have been walking this path of vocation consistently (almost always, grin). The best thing is this feeling of freedom from fear – a big word with an even bigger impact.
Freedom through connection is one of my favorite phrases. It has everything in it: By knowing and feeling that I am always and everywhere connected to Being, to the source of life, that I am never alone and lost, the fear of whatever-has-been has gone. And when I am no longer afraid, I am truly free. Free to do and let what I think is good and right, what feels intuitively coherent and true for me – and not what my ego tells me to do.
By ego I mean here a construct of learned patterns of thinking and behavior, family and social imprints, images of others and of oneself, etc., usually a conglomeration of many different ‘I-must’s’.
Freedom through connection is one of my favorite phrases: Since I know and feel that I am always and everywhere connected to the source of life, my fear of whatever-it-is has disappeared – and thus I am really free to do and let what I think is good and right, even dancing wildly in front of spectators … 😉
What remains when everything else falls away?
… is one of the most exciting and far-reaching questions I know. Have you ever asked yourself this question?
- What remains of you and your life when you no longer have or play a role, no longer have a house, a car, possessions, a job?
- Who or what are you without all that?
- And finally: What happens, what remains when you leave your earthly being, your body?
Surely these are not easy questions! And certainly they are unfamiliar and rather scary, at least at the beginning, because they question the previous supposed certainties. But I know that your life will also change if you dare to ask yourself these “last questions of being human”.
I have made the experience that my life has changed fundamentally through the confrontation with death and the existential questions that it brings with it: Away from this feeling ‘lost in space’ and towards more connectedness, self-determination and above all more freedom, joy, peace, abundance …
Breakthrough to a smiling life
For me they were a breakthrough to a fulfilled, free, self-determined, smiling, peaceful, happy life – up to the step into my self-chosen new home Cyprus at the end of last year. Thanks to Grim Reaper, as he used to be called almost affectionately, for this, albeit not very gentle, push … 😉
At this point my impulse is to offer you accompaniment. So if you feel that you are ready to face these questions as well as the answers and the associated process, then I am happy to be there for you. November – and the approaching end of the year in general – is a very good time to deal with these essential and existential questions.
Ideally, we enter into a somewhat longer and more intensive process together, the Spiriway, which is also the offer of the month. I am also happy to sit down with you in a Reiki-Coaching (by phone or video) and guide you both mentally and emotionally through the encounter with death, dying and especially YOUR life …
Goethe knew ‘it’ too …
“Und so lang du das nicht hast,Selige Sehnsucht von Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, geschrieben am 31. Juli 1814 in Wiesbaden
Dieses: Stirb und werde!
Bist du nur ein trüber Gast
Auf der dunklen Erde.“
Now I wish you that you can perhaps look at and experience November a little differently this year. I am happy to be there for you and am available to you with advice and action, both in individual sessions as well as in the various group offers – you can find the dates in November in the overview. I am already looking forward to our work together!